FORD AND EDISON TAKE GENTILE-ONLY ROADTRIP
HENRY VI CELEBRATES 100TH YEAR OF WAR
SORKHOKHTANI BEKI WINS REVENGE/TORTURE CONTEST
OAFISH MAYOR DALEY HOSTS QUEEN OF ENGLAND
DANTE OUT FOR REST OF SEASON IN LOSS TO BLACK GUELPHS
ROYAL NAVY ABOLISHES FLOGGINGS
GALILEO APOLOGIZES FOR SILLY THEORY
PREDATOR TEACHER ABELARD CASTRATED BY SCHOOLGIRL’S UNCLE
PRINCESS HONORIA IN LOVE WITH ATTILA THE HUN; PLANS TO ELOPE
SPOILED CROESUS SELLS DADDY’S COIN COLLECTION
forgotten
- Celebrities , Women, stay in the kitchen!
- February 18, 0106
- 1702 views
BAN ZHAO SETS BACK WOMENS RIGHTS WITH NEW BOOK
OUTDATED CONFUCIAN IDEAS 106 A.D. Luoyang, China Ban Zhao, the feminist hero who once championed the teaching of girls, has set back women’s rights a thousand years. Worse, she has…
- Bad mother-in-law! , Latest News
- April 12, 1945
- 1235 views
TRUMAN INAUGURATED, MOTHER-IN-LAW NOT IMPRESSED
STILL THINKS HE’S A FAILURE April 12, 1945 7:09 P.M. The Cabinet Room of the White House Washington, D.C. Harry Truman was sworn in as the 33rd President of the…
- Everybody hates him! , Latest News
- January 11, 1893
- 1262 views
SUPREME COURT KILLS TROUBLEMAKER GENERAL BENJAMIN BUTLER
NINE LIKELY SUSPECTS January 11, 1893 Washington, D.C. Someone has finally killed Ben Butler. The Rebels of New Orleans couldn’t do it; the Brahmins of Boston couldn’t do it; Confederate…
- Disinherited! , Latest News
- June 6, 1976
- 1217 views
BILLIONAIRE RECLUSE J. PAUL GETTY WILLS FORTUNE TO MALIBU LOVE CHILD
LEGITIMATE CHILDREN FURIOUS June 6, 1976 Sutton Place, England Jean Paul Getty, playboy billionaire, has died, and none of his legitimate children are getting his money. He’s left his vast…
- Celebrities , Go get them!
- March 15, 1493
- 1524 views
ABSENT-MINDED COLUMBUS FORGETS HIS FRIENDS IN THE INDIES
HAD A LOT ON HIS MIND March 15, 1493 Palos, Spain Fast-talking salesman and part-time sailor Christopher Columbus returned today from his hugely hyped “journey of discovery” to the East…
- A lover not a fighter! , Royals
- February 18, 0261
- 1385 views
VICTORIOUS KING ASOKA SORRY FOR WINNING WAR
WARRIOR-KING A PACIFIST 261 B.C. Pataliputra, India The Great King Asoka, ruler of all India, the most powerful king India has ever seen, has crushed the kingdom of Kalinga, destroying…
- Celebrities , How romantic!
- April 19, 1824
- 1239 views
LORD BYRON DIES MOST ROMANTIC POSSIBLE DEATH
EXPIRES IN THE ARMS OF HIS GONDOLIER April 19, 1824 Missolonghi, Greece Lord Byron died like a poet. The man who scandalized a nation; who took Europe by storm; who…
- Latest News , Nepal number 1!
- May 1, 1953
- 1099 views
TENZING NORGAY FIRST TO CLIMB EVEREST
(ALSO SOME FOREIGNER) May 29, 1953 11:30 A.M. Tibet Local Sherpa Tenzing Norgay climbed to the top of Chomolungma (which outsiders call Mount Everest) today. With him was an Australian…
- Celebrities , Wanton woman!
- September 10, 1829
- 963 views
SAUCY PEGGY EATON STARTS CAT FIGHT IN CABINET
PRESIDENT DEFENDS LOOSE WOMAN September 10, 1829 Washington, D.C. Peggy Eaton, daughter of an Irish tavern-keeper- and a notorious social climber- has been causing mayhem in the Jackson presidency for…
- Grave robber! , Latest News
- May 2, 1539
- 968 views
CORPSE DOCTOR ANDREAS VESELIUS FINDS ADAMS RIB
SHOWMAN SURGEON PROVIDES PROOF AFTER 5,000 YEARS May 2, 1539 Padua Andreas Vesalius, the show-off surgeon, found Adam’s lost rib today. And he did it in front of an audience.…